Hi again sorry if this personification isn't as good as the last one. I do have the one I did last year so please compare them!
Ok the one last year:
I sit on a shelf beside a window feeling hot and cold some of my pages can't hold.
I've been trampelled on jumped on by my grumpy owner. Someday I'll have a lovely owner that won't break my spine because they don't own that kind of mind.
I am made of trees can't you see from branches to leaves into a factory. My poor paper has been in a typing machine for too long it feels longer than 3,600 songs.
When I try to speak zero words come out I feel daft and want to shout.
Screaming for help just like in my words I've meet two pairs of eyes but not lemon curd..mmmm If I had a mouth I would die from wetness would never be dry would never be read.
* What do you think this one was about?
Since we don't really have computers at school ( not a lot of portable laptops ) especially in the english room I couldn't really get more ideas off my other personification but I have tried. Ok so here goes!
I squarm around hoping not to be found by grey bodies with sharp teeth and finns that knock you out when they come near. I have to large eyes ( more like big buttons in this case ) that fill up half of my body.
I have colourful scales that shine in the sunlight as I zoom along this magical sea filled with magical creatures...( unlike myself ). I have a long pointy tail with its red light shining like christmas lights. It follows me EVERYWHERE I go!! I apsolutely, positively HATE my tail!! Some people hate having their tail chopped off ( tom and jerry ) but I would love it!
I've never imagined what it would be like to be dead. I mean for me it would be sitting on a platter in front of lots of hungry humans that wanted me to be eaten. I mean for sure the cat would have his share too because cats starve without their tuna. ( I actually don't think they eat tuna but you know what I mean! )
Ok so you have to choose out of those two. I was thinking you could guess what my stories were about so it would be like a competition! So once you know get you comments in..I can't wait!
Thanks ever so much for reading my blog! You rock!
~** Torz **~
Tori - this is an awesome poem - I love that you are still having a go at personification writing!
ReplyDeleteWhen writing the number 2 - as in 'two large eyes' it's TWO not to! There are three two's - to, too and two. Also Tom and Jerry should have capitals because they are names.
Awesome work here and I can definitely see the improvement in the second one!